I interviewed Rehana (pseudonym) on a rainy day in mid-September. It was a muggy and mundane afternoon, as mundane as Rehana’s life would be as I was thinking. She worked at our home as a maid for around five years. I knew that she was a single mother and was living with her son separately from her husband for more than 10 years. I wanted to interview her to learn more about the various facets of women’s agency, and to enlighten myself on the multifaceted aspects of women’s empowerment. I plunged myself into this venture for almost a week, knowing very little about collecting primary data. However, as I walked through it, my preconceived ideas about domestic workers’ lives were contested.
Rehana was born in Cumilla. Her late father was a local businessman and her mother is a housewife. Though her father did not want her to study, seeing her strong will, he sent her to a madrasa. I felt that was a clear demonstration of her agency. Indeed, Rehana’s life was going smoothly with the joy and ebullience of childhood; but it did not last long. She had to face the bitterness of life when she was just eight years old; as her father passed away, her family fell into a financial crisis. She had to stop going to school and start looking for work. She had few choices, but she could identify her potential and started working as a domestic worker. She said it was a painful new life for her, but she had to be strong. With her income, she could manage accommodation for her family and herself in the town a few months later. I was enthralled to see how she was able to bring self-awareness and motivation for a better life into her actions at that very early age, which is again an exposition of her agency.
She told me that her family was forcing her to get married when she was not even 17, but she protested against it and could stop her early marriage. Here, I saw a reflection of her power to resist and make decisions. Later she got married to a person, who used to exert power over her through violence and other means. She told me that she thought having a child might make everything normal between them. So, based on just her will, they had a baby. But, shattering all her hopes, everything remained unchanged. However, things got even worse when her husband slapped her in front of her child, from which she got a permanent scar on her face. She said: “This scar still motivates me to fight.” She left her husband’s home with her child that very day. With her eyes sparkling with confidence and self-respect, Rehana said,
“Why should I suffer from this pain, when I know that I am perfectly able to take care of my child and myself all on my own?”
I was enthralled to see such a strong demonstration of agency, her power to define her goals and act on it.
However, it was difficult to manage housing for her child and herself as nobody was willing to rent a house to a single mother. Moreover, she did not want to live with his brother after her separation as he used to live “unhealthily” in a slum. Such an obsession with not settling for less! Finally, she could rent a small house in town. She faced many problems living alone. I got to know about an incident that happened to her: one night a drunk man knocked on her door asking whether she would sleep with him. Rehana got scared, but she turned this fear into her strength. She started to make good relationships with her neighbours. Her self-confidence, and strategic ideas to enrich her social capital strengthened her position a bit in her neighbourhood.
There were times when this strong woman felt shattered—her child and she was often humiliated by people for living separately from her husband. Still, she was confident that she was right. I could not help but see her eyes glittering with tenacious hopes, even after she was going through all the difficulties as a single mother. She did not just hope for a better life, but she worked strategically and worked hard for it.
She exhibited incredible confidence in being the sole decision-maker of her household. Still, sometimes, she lets her brother interfere in her matters, as keeping a good relationship with him could be beneficial for her. What a strategic mindset! Moreover, I had the opportunity to shadow her once in a marketplace, where an interesting occurrence grabbed my attention. I saw her flirting with the salesmen in stores as a negotiation tool. I could see her ability to analyze and negotiate based on the other party’s strengths and weaknesses; it was so fascinating.
The days of Rehana are going like this till now. Every day she is trying to ensure better living conditions for her son and herself, which is in turn helping her to buttress her confidence, aiding her to exhibit her agency more strongly, and strengthening her position as an empowered woman in society. She exhibited incredible hope for a better life for her son. She sent him to a madrasa as she wanted him to be well-educated.
Through the life history of Rehana, I could see how this domestic worker, who is also a single mother, is demonstrating her agency in different forms—by expressing her will, by reflecting and analyzing situations, by working on her goals, through decision-making and negotiating, and so on—to achieve the things that she wanted.
These interviews and observations were not sufficient for understanding the different aspects of a women’s agency and empowerment, yet it was sufficient for me to start a conversation with myself. It no more seems to me that her life is mundane like that day’s weather; as in that clammy, mundane afternoon, I saw Rehana shining in her own light, becoming the agent of her empowerment.
Maisha Fairuz is a Research Associate at BRAC Institute of Governance and Development (BIGD), BRAC University.
